Tomi Lahren. Controversial. Conservative. Canceled.

It’s been kind of a rough day, but this news was just the honey I needed in my tea. No, the internet’s favorite toxic Barbie doll hasn’t been completely cancelled, but hearing that she’s been suspended by her network The Blaze, made me fucking cackle. Why? Because she played herself.

I have gone out of my way to ignore everything about this insufferable harpy. I don’t waste my clicks on her videos. Frankly, her whole schtick bores me. She built a whole Facebook following by being a “cool” girl. Someone who could hang with the bros and wasn’t offended by their misogyny. She could wheel and deal in racist vitriol with the best of them. She’s 24, but she isn’t a whiny liberal snowflake like the rest of us millennials. Bottle blonde, young, skinny, white, and pissed that minorities might dare speak up for themselves, she was prepped and primed to eventually become another pair of talking legs on a Fox News morning show.

So where did she go wrong? It looks like Miss Thing stepped out of line when her idealogical conservatism exhibited just the slightest amount of consistency.“You know what? I’m for limited government, so stay out of my guns, and you can stay out of my body as well,” she said in regards to abortion. And her fans (let’s call them Tom Toms), did not like that.

What naive Tomi failed to grasp about her position, is that she as woman, is not a person. She is a prop. Her existence is used to justify all kinds of bigoted bullshit. She was supposed to spout the same talking points as her male counter parts and never take into consideration how they actually affected her as a walking, talking, female human being. She wasn’t supposed to have ideas that were supported by logic. And she certainly wasn’t supposed to express the desire to have autonomy over her own body because woman. Duh.

Let this be a lesson to her. It doesn’t matter how many racist uncles share your videos. At the end of the day, patriarchy doesn’t give a fuck about you girl. You are not a thought leader. You are an image people like to conjure up when they want to feel good about the horrible beliefs they hold. Did you think that you as a woman, might be able to shed some common sense on an issue that affects predominantly women? Not today. Not on that channel. What’s that saying about those who lay with dogs?

Maybe she will remember this the next time she thinks about flexing her sanity. Otherwise, she will just have to learn like so many of the inoffensive women who came before her, to sit down, shut up, and play her part.